I feel like I should just wear a sign, “I’m trying to get pregnant. Don’t ask.”. Why else would a healthy 37 year old be frantically trying to schedule doctor’s appointments into her 65-85 hour work week. Why else would I lose my &$@; when I discover a well-meaning assistant added a meeting to my lunch hour on said precious appointment day when I desperately need that time to extract from work without saying something horrid like “you are standing between me and conception!”
Today is SS day. I know nothing more. We go, we provide a sample of his sperm on site (on demand), and we go home. For this, I am taking a half day off work.
I’m a bit curious about the facilities. Is it a sterile, fluorescent lit examining room with glossy mags featuring oversized breasts instead of gardening hints? Or, jewel toned silk sheets with pillows and barry white? Will Dan even want me to join him? A few hours and I’ll know.
When we first met, Dan did not want to have children. Or, as he likes to say now, he never met anyone with whom he would like to have children. The turning point was a lazy Sunday of errands while we were still dating. After coffee and bagette, we wandered down the street to Izilla Toys to get a one year old’s birthday present. As we passed the plate glass windows of Ferrari, he stopped. Usually, I just roll my eyes when he goes catatonic in front of sports cars and motorbikes, but as I began to cock my head and threw my hand on my hip, he slowly raised his hand and pointed to the clothing rack in the back of the showroom. “Bambino,” he whispered. On the front of the rack was a miniature cherry red racing jumpsuit. His resolve melted. “If we have a bambino, or a bambina some day, could I get one of those?” In my shock, I agreed.
As we drove to Sears for our next errand, bamboo cutting boards, my mind was racing. He didn’t really just reverse the no kids policy over a pint-size racing jumper, did he? In the toy store, was he choosing toys with our future kids, or was he just playing with toys that he himself would want? If we do have kids someday, did I just agree to allow them to participate in motorsports?
Sears was briskly air-conditioned as we took the escalators up to kitchenwares. I stood in front of the cutting board choices as Dan wandered off. The possibility of future babies slipped from my mind as I debated the merits of spending any money on the bamboo boards that I planned to bring home and destroy in a crafting project. Having decided on the four on the clearance rack, I looked around for Dan.
I found him in the toy section next to kitchenware. Did you know that Peg Perego makes a 12V Ducati? Having a slight manipulative streak and a guilty soul, I blushed as soon as I found Dan caressing it. “I swear, I had no idea they made such a thing. Today, was not a let’s have a baby setup.” He looked up, “Bambino…”
So, that’s the story of the day Dan changed his mind about kids, and I started researching helmets.
There has been no discussion about budget for the babymaking project in our household. Although we both promise that our approach to this would be reasonable and that post-reversal, we would just try to do things the old fashioned way, I can see the potential for getting swept up in the mess. The reversal surgery (about $6000) may end up being the cheapest portion of our endeavor.
So my job today is to sit down and create an excel spreadsheet of costs.
Quick stop in Costco to buy wine and prenatal vitamins?
One of my friends tells me that my ambivalence about having children is healthy. I want to have children, but I really enjoy my life right now.