Checklist for the “put back” or transfer as I can never seem to remember. Valium on board. Bladder full. Clumsy a bit because my monkey mind started swinging rom the branches 2.5h before the transfer, threatened to evolve into a baboon of anger and bloated purple cheeks of jealousy in me. Might have taken an additional 5 mg of Valium to quiet the monkey. He’s napping now. Nice monkey. Head spins a bit with head turns, but thankfully I’m not walking much!
The IVF waiting room has different music than the consultation waiting area. Music aimed at us our generation of delayed fertility. Tracy Chapman and I are plotting our escape in a fast car. The ambience is more my speed. More tangible and real, less Zen. More co-ed with donating partners whisking in and frozen, stoned, pre transfers like myself. I toast my other pre-transfer colleague in the waiting room with my bpa free water jug and she lifts her with a smile. The decor is more River Runs thru it–more masculine, more car and driver, limited, discrete flowers and the zen tempered by clubby wood feel.
Young Americans David Bowie*
Tracie Chapman Fast Car
This Is Us. Emmylou Harris and Mark Knoepler
Something by David gray
*Second time today as crate and barrel played a cover of this today. Nothing more relaxing than taking your mother in law to C and B on the big day.
That’s behind me now. I’ve had the transfer. A grainy photo of our embryo is presented to me. I take their word for its beauty as I’ve never had an embryo make it past the 3rd day. I pined over those embryo shots tightly wrapped balls of 8 cells. This time, we are going to just hope. Dan is coming to pick me up.